


All of our Stars

by letlarrygo



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, M/M, based on A Fault In Our Stars, but really more about the ed sheeran song, only like the tiniest bit malum, trigger warning, you can kind of see the whole obsession with Ash thing here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 22:53:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1835176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letlarrygo/pseuds/letlarrygo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its hard to love someone when they're not there. Its even harder to love someone when you know they're never coming back.<br/>But it's easy to love them when you know they're right there with you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All of our Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy, this is another one of my english projects, I keep putting them up here, but yeah this one was kind of always designed this for Ash, so all I had to do was change the pronouns and tadaa.  
> Jade

_I'll come back to haunt,_

_Memories will taunt you_

A boy wandered down the abandoned drive, his tanned arms clutched around his wrist gripping his nails into the skin, chaining himself to the ground with words whispered in his head.

His eyes they saw things that no one else did, strange things, haunted things. Fixated on the spot in the moat he walked calmly, carefully but with madness hard to place, because it wasn’t madness, that wasn’t a way to describe it, it was sadness.

Deep, fixated sadness, yes that blinked with the promise of tears that never showed, eyes that changed the smile, made it seem fake, without the eyes the smile is happy, without the smile the eyes are sad.

Before he reached the lake, he reached out a hand and waved into the air in front of himself, trying to grasp something. What? Nobody will ever know. Nobody would ever need to know. What was his, was his and no one could take that from him.

His face changed, eerie calm replaced by frustration in his face. Then it changed again, his face became loving, soft. It was strange, eerie.

His hand touched the rusted nails, turning his hands brown and rusty, tears fell on the nails. It was a lonely sight; the brambles grew on the bench on which he sat. Blood dripped from his thighs pierced by brambles.

His hands moved to trace the blood, moving it in small circles, tracing letters, words, a name, Luke. But the name could not be seen, through the blood, whirling on his skin, milky white became blood red, the red that a demon would be imagined to be.

Then a tear fell into the blood, the white skin was clear again, there were just traces of what had happened just a second ago.

And that’s it isn’t it, what happened just a second ago can be removed in a second, but when you love someone, the pain is extended, true love is going to hurt and that hurt won’t go away, it will always be there, just like they will, always there in the back of your mind, like the scars left on your heart, like the ones left on his thighs from the brambles.

He looked over his shoulder and he was running from some imaginary demon, that had him gripped in a spell, hair flying, caught by his bandana, tangled with the wind that always blew, at the edge of the moat he fell head in his hands, they fell, his hands, touching the water of the lake, letting it drip off of his hands, clasped into fists as they were.

The way he shook with fear was terrifying, to everyone and anyone around him. He was here, grounded to the earth by the force of gravity, but somehow in the same way he was not here, it was like gravity had no affect on him.

Like the world belonged to him, at least this one did but he had no purpose being in it other than to sit and drown from his sorrows and in that way it was obvious what he had set out to do.

But he couldn’t there was something tying him to the earth, something that also tied him to a world above, something that he could see but only he, no one else would get to see what it was, no one else would know what it was.

There are people that think that they know who or what it is tying him here to these old grounds, but their stories they are all so different and not one of them is right.

He wasn’t like this once, Ash, once he was happy and young, once he was a prince and he was his king, this was his castle and once he wore a ring.

But happiness never lasts long no matter what you think, the truth is that happiness is a lie and happiness will never last. His happiness was in him, was in Luke, he was young, strong and handsome, he was the same, when they fell in love it was said to be a whirlwind of weddings and rings.

But those who said that would be wrong see they were best of friends but he had one secret that he believed would ruin everything.

Because if you do not love yourself you will never believe that someone else could love you, never believe that they would care about you, cherish you and want you and if you don’t believe in that you will never be truly happy.

But it wasn’t just him, he had three best friends, one of whom you already know. They were each other’s rocks, but when water hits a rock too hard it breaks, it wears down until it’s all gone.

The first to go was Luke, the one he had loved with everything he had, just gone, no blood left but there was a body, floating in the lake, drowned because you never really can fix a heart. Not when the body will fail too, not when it’s lit up like a Christmas tree.

Mikey went next, he found him hanged of the side of the stairs with Cal in tears, clinging to his body like a lifeline, kissing his cold lips, trying to hold onto some promise of life.

Cal never truly went, he’s still there, somewhere in the Grange, alive but not really, half dead, just clinging to life by it’s last threads, kind of like Ash really.

He looked to the sky, staring , the view changing but his gaze never flinching, as the moon drew over head , he closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, the stars gathered and all of the light bled, the horizons joined together in perfect harmony and for what seemed like the first time in forever he smiled.

Because, he was still here, but then again he wasn’t and she could see the stars from the place where no light could be seen, her heart.

“You know Luke,” he spook up to the sky while a shooting star flew past “If you were here I would sing to you.”

And he sang, he sang because she knew in her heart, that they were all there, watching over him and Cal waiting for the time that he would join them again.

As he turned back into the house, he traced his hands across the walls, walls full of memories, full of infinities and okay’s and always.

Sometimes the only thing you can do is stay strong and let it hurt, because no matter what someone somewhere, whether on earth or not loves you and love is precious, so treasure it.

Keep it close and save it, save the hurt for the last minute, don’t use it too quickly but keep that love because it will calm the hurt, after a while.

God knows it takes long enough, but you’ll be okay someday, someday you’ll live again.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own or claim to own 5SOS, this is purely fanfiction.


End file.
